7 Camping Concepts

Yet another satisfied customer at Alpha Male Camping. Photo: Budi Nusyirwan (Flickr/Creative Commons).

Yet another satisfied customer at Alpha Male Camping. Photo: Budi Nusyirwan (Flickr/Creative Commons).

Alpha Male Camping
A camping concept for alpha males, AND anyone who identifies as an alpha male.

Activities include (and are limited to):

– Eyeing
– Drinking
– Pissing contest
– Drinking
– Bromance
– Drinking
– Circle jerk (OR klittra)

An enjoyable game of Quappitsche at Wizarding Wonderland Camping. Photo: Antonio Cinotti (Flickr/Creative Commons).

An enjoyable game of Quappitsche at Wizarding Wonderland Camping. Photo: Antonio Cinotti (Flickr/Creative Commons).

The location varies, but this annual event usually takes place somewhere with rugged and unwelcoming terrain, with a lack of running water, electricity and mother. (Certain parts of Northern Norway would be ideal, if it just wasn’t so fucking expensive).

Wizarding Wonderland Camping
A family-friendly camping concept where all visitors are provided with their very own capes, “magick schticks” (not wands) and funny hats.

Activities include:
– Quappitsche – local game a bit similar to rugby but with more elements from MMA.
– Advanced Traumaturgy – a.k.a. “The Crying Game”.
– Viralicious: see how fast you’re able to spread your fun time holiday photos from Wizarding Wonderland Camping on social media. The winner receives a Farnabus Binkley Prize for Exceptional Spell-Casting.

Wizarding Wonderland Camping is located at a genuine Polish campground from the late 1980’s, near scenic Pruszków and the local raw sewage treatment plant.

An elective outdoor recreational activity

Photo: Christopher Michel (Flickr/Creative Commons).

Photo: Christopher Michel (Flickr/Creative Commons).

The concept: participants leave developed areas to spend time outdoors in more natural ones in pursuit of activities providing them enjoyment. A minimum of one night is spent outdoors, distinguishing it from day-tripping, picnicking, and other similarly short-term recreational activities.

An elective outdoor recreational activity may involve sheltering in the open air, a tent, caravan, motorhome, or primitive structure.

Guesstimate Camping
A variant of the “Dice Man” concept. At Guesstimate Camping, the guiding principle is to take a wild guess at anything. How long it is until dinner, the price of various items, the current amount of camping site visitors, etc. The most outlandish claim that can be backed up with some kind of vague anecdote or “research” will be honored with prizes like groupies, media attention (the local newspaper runs a column) and grants from the city council.

Site: anywhere in the Nordic region.

(Guesstimate was originally “This Big Camping & Fishing”, but the IP owners wrote a cease-and-desist).

Rock Star Camping
Did you ever wonder where all those rock star mammoths go when they need a well-deserved break from touring and rocking a million faces?

Rock Star Camping near peaceful Grindsted (DK),  that’s where!

Here you’ll encounter the likes of Keith, Sir Paul, Bob and Ozzy, basking in the transcendental nothingness of the Grindsted countryside, safe in their knowledge that they’re at the height of awesome despite being 127 years old (well; obviously you won’t encounter them, but people with similar souls, is the selling point).

Activities include:
– Reminiscing
– Snoring
– Failing to maintain an erection

Self-referential In-Jokesters Sensitivity Test Camping

An including time outdoors. Foto: News Øresund - Johan Wessman (Flickr/Creative Commons).

An including time outdoors. Foto: News Øresund – Johan Wessman (Flickr/Creative Commons).

The concept: you go camping with a group of DF supporters at Holme Å in Region Syddanmark. To get acquainted, you’ll play along with their jokes. But that’s ok, because you can tell yourself you’re ironic and post-modern. The bait-and-switch is that there are three genuine minority “sleeper agents” at the camping grounds. If they are able to tell you apart from the DF supporters at the end of your stay, you’ll win a crate of Carlsberg Elephant Beer and a hug from a homeless Inuit at Amagerbro Station. If not, you’ll be exposed as a chauvinist to all your FB contacts (in a public post including video from your trans-ironic week at the camping site).

BFF Camping
A small, friendly camping site on Djursland, East Jutland. Most of the visitors are regulars from year to year. It’s a place where you can just relax and be yourself, smile, enjoy a cool drink and play games. Somewhere you can spend time among friends who are accepting of each other’s differences and employ charitable readings of the rules of boccia. A space where you can safely leave your tent unlocked, your worries far behind and just bask in the privilege of belonging to such a considerate and thoughtful community.

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